Before any hearing, before any lawsuit, comes safety. This page is not legal advice — it is the practical groundwork that makes every legal step stronger and every day safer. The evidence you preserve in the first 72 hours is often the evidence that wins the case months later.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are safe right now, preserve evidence: photographs of injuries and damaged property (with a ruler or coin for scale), medical records, the names of witnesses, and every message — do not delete anything, even if you think it makes things worse. Deleting messages does not un-send them; losing them only hurts your case.
Abusers monitor devices: shared accounts, location sharing, hidden apps, and family plans all give an abuser a window into your activity. If you believe your device is monitored, use a device the abuser has never had access to — a library computer, a trusted friend's phone — for searches, legal communications, and shelter contact. Your lawyer's communications with you are privileged and confidential; protect them by protecting the device.
The declaration is the heart of a restraining order case, and the meeting with your attorney is where it takes shape. Bring: the log of incidents, photographs, messages (printed or saved), medical records, police report numbers, prior restraining orders, and the names of witnesses. Do not worry about organizing it perfectly — we do that. Your job is to gather; ours is to build.
What to photograph, save, and log after an incident — and what never to delete. San Diego DV attorney Thomas Gennaro.
Device monitoring, location sharing, and how to communicate with your lawyer safely. San Diego DV attorney Thomas Gennaro.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 — or text START to 88788. For everything after safety: call (619) 730-7884, free and confidential.
