Abusers do not stop abusing at the courthouse door. Divorce litigation becomes the new arena: delays, financial games, motions filed to exhaust you. The strategy that works is the opposite of engagement — structured, documented, and protective from the first filing.
File the DVRO early — it shapes custody, support, and conduct during the case. Document the abuse history for the spousal support analysis: Family Code 4320 requires the court to consider documented abuse when setting support amount and duration. And guard the finances: discovery, account freezes where warranted, and orders that stop the money games.
The goal is a dissolution that ends — not a litigation that becomes the next form of control. Structured negotiation, court-ordered conduct rules, and a record that holds the abuser accountable for litigation misconduct all point the case toward resolution. You have been through enough; the legal process should not be the sequel.
In immediate danger, call 911. For protection planning and next steps, call (619) 730-7884 — free and confidential, through whatever channel is safe for you.
